A bike, some lycra, and a shit load of kilometres.

Geelong Olympic Distance Triathlon.

2012-02-21T04:01:00.007-08:00

We are now 10 days on from my first ever triathlon. The soreness has well and truely gone, the newness and excitement of having done my first tri is gone, so what better time to reflect?

Having tentatively set the olympic distance tri as a goal around 5 months ago, I oddly found myself only registering with about 20 minutes to spare. It was a pretty miserable Saturday afternoon in Geelong as I made my way to the waterfront to hand over my entry fee and rack my bike in the transition area - where it would stay overnight in the pouring summer rain. To enter the transition area I had to put on my competitor wristband that told everyone I was number 1659. I wheeled my bike past hundreds of thousands of dollars (literally) of bikes to an empty spot in the rack. I sat on a picnic table for a few moments just looking and taking it all in. The transition compound was to be patrolled overnight but I had no concerns; my bike could be bought 7-8 times over for what most of the bikes there were worth.

I woke before my alarm to the sound of rain really bucketing down outside. The relatively late start time of 8:35 meant I was relaxed and in no hurry. I had some breaky, a coffee and all in all it felt like a fairly normal Sunday morning. After a final tick, tick, tick of my checklist I grabbed my gear, kissed the family goodbye and they wished me luck. I ran to my car in torrential rain.

Happily the sun broke through on the short drive to the Geelong waterfront and the rain eased off. I loitered around a bit looking for Tim (my brother who was also doing the tri) and feeling a bit out of sorts and out of place. I gave up on him and headed into the transition compound to get everything ready. Walkind down the long rack of bikes I saw Tim who was setting his gear out ready for his swim/bike and bike/run transitions. He suggested I get a move on as event staff were saying transition was closing soon. This turned out to be an empty threat presumably designed to get the competitors in and out to avoid congestion. I found my bike and set about laying out my bike and run gear ready for when I came out of the swim. I looked and how other people did it and largely copied them. After the obligitory check that I had everything I left the transition area to wetsuit up. Again with the checks; swim cap, goggles, earplugs, check, check, check, I handed in my bag and stood around chatting to Tim and watching the water.

The race and swim leg started a little behind scheduele to the sound of the starters hooter. I was off. I jogged into the water further than most before I started swimming. The bay was flat and I was hopeful that the 1500 metre swim wouldn't trouble me too much. Initially my chest felt tight in the wetsuit and my breath was short. I was reasonably sure this was excitement and adrenaline that was getting my heartrate up, so I tried my best to just get into a good stroke pattern with a breathe on every third one. It was 600 metres out to the first buoy which I covered fairly easily. The back 500 was where I started thinking 'okay, I've had enough swimming, let's ride!'. Despite wanting to be on the bike, I tried to settle down and just enjoy what I was doing, which I did. My right goggle was half full of water which was kind of annoying but I didn't bother stopping to correct it. Instead I just did a bit of closed eye swimming which was a nice little escape. I rounded the right hand turn on the second buoy and was soon taking a left around the last one and heading to the beach. By now the athletes who had started in the wave behind me were going past; a fact that didn't bother me other than getting literally overrun by them a couple of times. At the end of a 1500 metre swim you don't really need to have people running into and over you! It was hugely satisfying standing up and jogging onto the beach. I instantly felt more tired than I was while swimming and worried about how much energy I had used and how much I still had. I tore off my googgles and cap first then pulled down my wetsuit, all the while running to my bike.

At transition I pulled off the rest off the wetsuit exposing my Zoot trisuit, a one piece outfit designed to be worn through all three disciplines of the tri. I through on one bike shoe, then thought I'd better put my helmet one (helmets must be on at all times your bike is unracked - I was worried I'd forget this, hence I put it on between doing my left and right shoe!). This was followed by my second shoe, my race number belt and my sunnies with clear lenses. It was pouring rain at this stage and the ground was soft underfoot as I ran my bike out of transition. This soft ground probably made running in cleated bike shoes a bit easier. Got to the sign that read 'Bike Mount' and did so without incident. Happily the bike leg went by without incident. The rain desisted after about 15 minutes and the sun slowly broke through. I was by now aware of a decent pain in my stomach and thought it had most likely been a result of taking in the salty water of Corio Bay. I was uncomfortable, but with my heartrate down around 145 it wasn't too much of a problem. The 40km bike ride went by really quickly and after 82 minutes I rode down Ritchie Blvd to the cheers of my 'support team'. I felt GOOD! I dismounted carefully at the prescribed point and ran my bike back into transition.

I racked my bike, helmet off, shoes off, running shoes on, visor on and I was off again. Almost instantly that pain in my stomach became a massive problem. Now that I was running the heartrate went up as did the pain. The legs felt okay though. I was going along a decent pace despite the stomach pain and feeling okay about things. This only lasted about 500 metres though. I could feel hints of cramps in both quads - this was always my biggest concern - and I could now pin point three places in my gut where the pains were coming from. What unfolded over that 10km, 55 minute journy was almost entirely hell. Other than a 'low five' with Tim who was heading in the opposite direction, I got little joy on that run. In fact, I think I could confidently say it was the hardest run I've ever done. I've done a few. Somehow I kept going despite thoughts that vomitting might do me good. I just kept thinking 'try another few hundred mate' and that's what I did. I walked through the drink stations so I could make sure I took on all the fluid (water, electrolytes, cola) that I could get in. I think doing this saved me. I had run through the cramps and after the first four or so kms they never came back.

Running past the finish line at about 7.5kms I could hear all my supports shouting out encouragment. Thet would have only seen a pained expression on my face but on the inside I was absorbing their energy and using it. The final U-turn seemed to take forever to come but eventually it did. I was almost able to enjoy the last few hundred metres. Almost. I did enjoy crossing the line though and finally being able to stop after that hellish run.

I was handed an event towel which I threw over my head and took a couple of drinks off the table. I knew drinking plenty would do me good, but most of all I just wanted to not run. Tim made his way over and we hugged and congratulated each other. He implored me to 'drink a shitload of water', warning I'd get a massive headache if I didn't. We left the area behind the finsh line and caught up with those who were there to see me plod those last few metres.

The wash up was a 2 hour 58 minute finish time. Broken down to 35 for the swim, 82 for the ride, and 55 for the run. Add a few minutes in transitions and you're up to almost three hours. My goal was to compete and complete, and so I was happy to sneak in under 3:00 hrs.

I'm so grateful to my support network. Not just on the day, but in life. Renee, Anzac and Lola (who wore their white plastic gargabe bags with "I love you Dad" and "Team Simesy" in thick black texta on them), Tim, Loz, Isaiah, Scarlett, Josh (thanks for the wetsuit loan!), Megs, Bex, Mim, Mum, Dad. You're all super important to me. Thanks too to those who sent the encouraging texts. I appreciate it all.

Any ideas for my next goal?

With love,

Danger 1000 results.

2012-01-14T14:58:00.000-08:00

Results just in and it appears I did do the 22 minute time; 22:26 to be exact.

Results here; http://www.tomatoresults.com.au/MyResults.aspx?CId=16&RId=20027&EId=1&AId=42786

I'm really pleased; that time meant I was onlt 24 seconds slower than the average time for my catergory! Not bad for someone who has only been swimming for a few months!

With love,

Danger 1000

2012-01-14T14:30:00.000-08:00

As part of my prep for the USM tri, I did the Danger 1000 in Torquay yesterday. It was my first open-water swim... ever. I have been really happy with my progress with my swimming; doing 1500mts in the pool without too much drama. However, the 1500mts I need to swim for the triathlon is in Corio Bay (Geelong) so swimming in open-water in race conditions was required.

My brother Tim told me about the Danger 1000 and it sounded perfect for my first open-water swim; 1000 meters, reasonably sheltered conditions, and a good sized field of racers without being too big an event.

Thursday night I swam 1700mts in the pool and Friday I rode 60kms. It was only when the starting gun fired on Saturday I ran into the surf that I thought 'maybe I should have had an easier couple of days'. I'd tried a run straight off the bike the night before and cramped in my quads and as I ran into the water they burnt again. The heart rate went up and I was puffing before I even started swimming.

I waded out until it got too deep and then started swimmming. I was completely unprepared for how choppy it was and how difficult that would make swimming. I did some breast stroke for a bit to catch my breath and then did some ugly looking freestyle out to the turning buoy.

It was only now that I was able to start swimming with any sort of rhythym - one, two, breath, one, two, breath, etc. It was hard, but it was nice to get that rhythym going. I took the second and final left turn to toward the beach and by now was tiring. I was struggling to keep a straight line and found my self zig zagging as I corrected and over corrected. It felt like that last straight was long, really long. The beach didn't seem to be getting closer. About half way to the beach I was run into from behind by a swimmer from the group that started after me and I was convinced I was in last place of my group of 'green caps'. Thinking I was ready to stand 75 meters off the beach I was disappointed to find I couldn't! Had to swim some more. Another 25 meters and I was able to stand. Still convinced I was in last place I gently jogged to the finish line on the sand pleased to have finished but thinking the spectators would think mine was a pretty poor effort. I don't think this now, but at the time it crossed my mind.

I crossed the line as the clock ticked 42:24, and according to TJ (my brother, Tim) we started at the 20 minute mark. I'm not convinced I did the swim in 22:24 so I look forward to seeing the official results from my timing tag.

Look! There's green caps behind me! I'm not last!

I'm really pleased to have had the experience. It was good to find that my concerns about thinking about sharks and freaking out about seaweed didn't eventuate. Once I was in the water I was too preoccupied with swimming, breathing and not drowning to worry about that! So I tick a box in preparation for the tri and I move on.

With love,

Training update.

2012-01-14T14:05:00.000-08:00

After the Around the Bay ride I took a couple of weeks off all training. A scheduled appointment with the physio got things going again. Having injured my knee in early April I hadn't really done any running since. The physio gave me the okay to start again. As I'd done one or two 3km runs he gave me the all clear to do 4kms and add one kilometer per week. So that's what I did. Over the next month I got up to 8kms, running at about 4:45 pace; a pace I was happy, and very surprised, to be running after six months out. Clearly the riding kept my base fitness in a good place.

As I added kilometers and my knee held up, the idea of doing the Olympic distance triathlon in Feb began to bubble away in my mind. I had some work to do; I've never been a swimmer, and my knee still had to hold up to running. Since then I have learnt how to swim. I have always been a reasonable swimmer - a lap or two of a pool has never been a problem - but swimming lap after lap and breathing on both sides was something I hadn't done and didn't know how to do. Happily, I'm now up to doing 1500mts in a pool reasonably comfortably, and have even done one 1700mt session. Open water swimmming a different proposition.

Having done NOTHING in Decemeber I started the new year the way I intend to live it, with a new year's day run. I did 4kms which was ugly and ended with a vomit on the side of the path. I also finished with a tight hamstring which has severely hampered my runnning in the last couple of weeks. This means I'm way behind in my training for the 10kms I need to run in the triathlon on Feb 12th.

Training for a triathlon is a funny thing. I'm under no illusions that I'm anything but a hack, a plodder, but I am what I am, and I'm the only reference point I need to compare myself to. In saying that, training in three disciplines is fun and challenging, but you feel like you aren't really doing any of them justice. There's only so much time in a week, and even if you can find the time and motivation to train for 5-6 hours, that means you're only giving each discipline a couple of hours. This is barely enough to improve.

Anyway, finally, my new year's resolution is the same as last year; weigh less at the end than I do at the start. Last year I started at about 84.3kgs, and finished at about 81.5ks. Sub 80kg is the goal, hopefully as low as 77kgs. At 77kgs I am technically in the 'overweight' range, 76kgs puts me in 'healthy'. We'll see what happens.

With love,

Pride.

2011-10-23T02:51:00.000-07:00

It's now a week on from last Sunday's ride Around The Bay. I'm happy to say that I made it. The whole way.

It all began Saturday night when Renee dropped me and my bike off at Marshall station in Geelong. I was catching the 2118hr to Southern Cross Station. There were some young girls catching the train to Geelong for a night out. They were wearing very little and I felt the urge to tell them 'you are not going out in that!?' but resisted. I'm getting old.

The journey begins.

It was nice to be on the train with my bike and riding gear. It was like it was finally happening. I'd done all the preparation I could and now all that was left was to just do it. If it wasn't done, if I didn't have it, at that point it didn't matter. I listened to my iPod, stared at the lights outside the window, and tried not to make eye contact with the bogan skateboarding up and down the carriage.
I arrived in Melbourne, jumped on the bike and in a few minutes I was at Bex's buiding in Kavanagh St. She buzzed me in and I quick ride up the lift and I was in her apartment overlooking the best of Melbourne. Bex had her room ready for me; clean sheets, a towel on the end of the bed, and the doona turned down. All so I could get the best night's sleep possible. What a friend! Giving up her bed so I could be as prepared as possible. Thank you, Bex. I appreciate it, and I love you heaps. I set out the things I would need for the morning, had a brief chat with Bex, and went to bed.

What felt like minutes later I woke to the alarm, jumped out of bed, showered, ate, and left. It was cold and dark. I'd chosen to wear shorts, a shortsleeve top and arm warmers. I knew this would mean I'd be cold for some time but thought it was the best option for the 10 hour trip. Unfortunately, starting took longer than anyone expected with our wave (in the 20-24 km/h average estimate wave) leaving at 7am. It was a stop start first 10kms getting out of Melbourne city and out to St Kilda but once on the bay we were getting some good peddling for some good kilometres.

About 60kms in I started cramping. We had to stop at a set of lights and as soon as I stopped turning the legs around and stood up my quads screamed at me. This was a grave concern. I was barely a quarter of the way into my 210kms and my body was already saying 'no'. I was frustrated as I can ride 60kms with my eyes shut and no issues with my body. I couldn't believe on my biggest day it was going wrong this soon. I decided I'd get to the 75km rest area, get off the bike, take a break, and see what happened from there. I made it to 75km unconvincingly, had a shork rest where I took on fluid, let go of some fluid, and ate a Mars bar. I sent a couple of texts updating some people as to where I was at and my concerns, and got a reply from my brother, Tim that read; 'Just do your best, there is no failure.'

Making my way to Sorrento.

I got back on the bike and latched on to a group. The weather was really turning at this stage and we found ourselves riding into a stiff breeze which meant we'd slowed down. As it turned out, this was a blessing in disguise. The 25kms to Sorrento were a bit slower, a bit easier, and the cramps dissappeared. About 8kms from Sorrento I found myself riding alone at a slow 22km/h. A group went past me like I was standing still and I decided to bust my balls and latch on the back of them. It hurt, but I caught them and stayed with them. Arrived at Sorrento in good shape but with about 600 people ahead of me waiting for the next ferry. I ate everything in the bag I was handed; chicken sandwich, random cake/slice, energy gel, apple. Powerade. It was cold, a bit wet, and windy sitting on the concrete waiting for the next ferry to arrive and I was a bit worried about how I would get the legs moving when I eventually got off the ferry and back on the bike at Queenscliff. The ferry showed up and they began letting riders and bikes on. I was about the 10th last rider to get on the ferry; a fact for which made me most grateful that I'd ridden the last 8kms to Sorrento with that fast group. Here is how my Garmin saw the first leg.

A lot of money laying on the road!

It had been almost exactly two hours since I'd stopped when I rolled off the ferry at Queenscliff and began the 39kms to Renee in Geelong. Happily, and surprisingly, the legs felt great. I stopped briefly in Point Lonsdale just near my work to see Tim, who gave me some new drinks - the water and Gatorade was a much needed change from the Staminade I was getting sick of. The ride into Geelong was okay, I stayed in groups and just kept turning the legs. I saw Mim and Danielle cheering me on in Ocean Grove, Dad in Moolap with a big sign reading 'Simon Davies, you're a legend' and in no time at all I was cruising through the Geelong CBD. Arrived at the Rippleside rest area in awesome shape. At this point I expected to be falling apart, but I was feeling good and as soon as I got off the bike I wanted to be back on it. I had a protien shake, tightened my cleats which had been coming loose, took a selfie with my baby, and set off. My Garmin record of this section is here.

My support team.

The hard work that had been done for the previous 5 or 6 hours on the bike meant we enjoyed a wind on our backs as we turned toward Melbourne. I found myself behind two guys as we belted along the Melbourne Road at a pacey 37-39km/h. We hit Little River rest area in no time and as these guys slowed down to decide if they were stopping I carried on alone. This turned out to be the most enjoyable part of the ride. I had visualised two things in the weeks leading up to the ride; 1) Riding over the West Gate Bridge knowing I couldn't fail, and 2) Sitting on the side of the Melbourne Road waiting for the support vehicle knowing I had failed. As it turned out, I was riding alone up the road to Melbourne absolutely eating up the road at 40-45km/h. I can't stress enough how fast that is for the not-too-serious recreational rider. My Garmin watch was beeping at me every 1min 30secs saying I'd done another kilometre. It was incredible.

Just at the Werribee turnoff I got an intense, powerful, painful cramp on the inside of my right thigh. I immediatly worried that I'd not respected the distance enough and I was going to pay for my last 40kms of pushing hard. I stood up on the pedals, stretched it out as best I good, and tried to ride through it. After a couple of kms I won the fight and the cramp desisted. Made it to the comfort stop in Werribee, had a quick break, and sent off the group text of 'Werribee. 35kms to go.' Tim replied with; 'You're a fucking rock star mate. You can do it!'

And I could. Hitting the highway out of Werribee and seeing Melbourne was awesome. The cramps were gone, the body felt good, and I could see the finish line. I began to get a bit emotional. All this with 35kms still to go. It felt inevitable that I'd finish the ride at this stage and I had to tell myself to cool it, that anything could still happen. I did calm down and settled into the task of getting back to Alexandra Gardens safely. I quickly found myself at the point I'd visualised so many times but been scared to believe would happen; me at the top of the West Gate Bridge. Again, I found myself, not unexpectadley, getting emotional again and actually cried tears of joy as I realised come hell or high water, I was going to finish. I was alone with my thoughts, looking forward to the long descent from the top of the bridge when I heard a car horn. I looked to my right and saw Renee driving past waving to me. It was amazing that by sheer luck she'd been there next to me at my own psycological finish line.

Ten minutes later I turned in to the short finshing straight along the Yarra River having done something that had exhausted mentally in the weeks leading up to it; if not physically on the day. I crossed the line, unclipped my feet from the cleats, leant on my handlebars, and cried tears of relief, joy, pride. See the final leg stats here.

The end.

I sit here now so proud of myself. I set a goal, a very, very difficult goal, and I worked towards it. I registered in July, four days after Cadel triumphed in Paris, and I used that as genuine, actual inspiration. I think about the ride all the time. I think about riding to Sorrento, unable to see the other side of the bay and knowing I had to ride around it. It is crazy but possible. I did it. Go me.

With love,

2011-10-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my big ride; the BUPA Around The Bay In A Day.

The tension has been building inside me all week. Had some sort of mini anxiety attack yesterday; butterflies, light-headedness and shaky. Today there's just heaps of butterflies messing with my stomach. To try and combat this I'm busying myself prepping my bike. Had a trip to Goldcross Cycles to purchase a few things including a new gel saddle. I'd prefer not to be changing my equipment before such a big ride but my saddle definately isn't made to be sitting in for 8+ hours.
I've also put my 'tri-bars' back on. Not because I'm going to be riding in an aggressive position for speed though! But because I think I'll need a few different positions to rest different parts of my body.

The ride itself will take me from Alexandra Gardens in Melbourne, 100kms to Sorrento. This section doesn't worry me too much. I'll have lunch in Sorrento and catch the ferry to Queenscliff. From there the next leg is 35kms into Rippleside Park in Geelong. I'll see Renee here and hopefully the kids. Renee will have food, gels, drinks and spare clothes in case I need any of that stuff. The final stretch is the part that scares me; the last 75kms from Geelong to Melbourne. If I'm to fail it'll be on this long, boring road. If I can get to Werribee and see Melbourne, I think I'll make it. We'll find out tomorrow, I guess.

This is Cadel's fault. When he won the Tour de France I decided I'd try and do this ride. He made long rides look easy. They aren't.

With Love,

Amy Gillett Gran Fondo

2011-09-20T05:25:00.000-07:00

This weekend I participated in the Amy Gillett Gran Fondo in and around Lorne. It was 120kms (110kms of which was under timed 'race' conditions) on closed roads that included 40kms along the Great Ocean Road as well as a total of about 20kms of solid mountain climbs - including one straight 10km climb that was timed for KOM (King of the Mountain) honours.

In training I had done only two 100km rides with not nearly as much climbing involved. This was to be my furthest and highest ride ever.

The day started at 4:30am to my alarm - appropriately I woke to the track 'Chase The Feeling' - and I bounced out of bed knowing I had to be moving from the get go to be in Lorne for the 6:00am safety briefing at The Mantra in Lorne. The briefing settles some nerves and gave me a slightly better understanding of what would happen and what was expected of me to contribute to my own safety and that of my fellow cyclists.

After the briefing it was back to the car to kit up, make my last checks of my bike, and make sure I had enough nutrition packed in my rear pockets. I took with me 10 energy gels, a Mars bar, a Power Ride bar, as well as the ubiquitous water and Staminade in two bottles on my bike. Two post coffee wees and two nervous wees later I was in Lorne's main street with about 2600 others waiting for the first wave of 200 riders to set off.

Riders were assembled in these groups of 200 according to the estimated average speed they nominated when they registered for the ride; I was in the second last wave having estimated a time of 20-25km/h. So 15 minutes after the first wave left I set off for 120kms of the unknown...

It was a privelidge to ride 40kms of Ocean Road without the worry of vehicles; it meant I could enjoy the ride and take in the scenery. Turning off at Skenes Creek I headed over the timing pads for the KOM section and began the 600 metre climb. It was hard and fun. Yes, fun! Having crossed the line at the top it meant a descent for a while, this was fast and cold. In the shade and travelling speeds up to 65 km/h meant being chilled to the core. Despite this it was heaps of fun. This took me to about the half way mark of the ride and by now most riders had settled into a steady speed and pelatons formed. I really loved these many kilometres of turning the pedals at a steady rate with the unspoken comraderie that seemed in the air as we trundled along at a comfortable 30km/h.

At the 100km mark I passed the '10km to finish' sign that indicated 10km to the finish line of the timed event and 20km to the actual finish in Lorne. Soon after that happy sign the final climb began. The next 45 minutes were to be heartbreaking, painful, challenging and slow (as low as 9 km/h in some parts!). At times I couldn't believe there were no more gears underneath me to help make pedalling easier, my legs burned and they hinted at cramp, but eventually I made it. I crossed the timing pad with a little satisfaction but not celebration. Many riders stopped after the finish line to rest, talk and enjoy what they'd just acheieved but I set out to do 120kms without stopping so I was committed to getting the last 10kms into Lorne over and done with. Fortunately and surprisingly, these 10kms were all downhill with an average speed of about 45km/h.

Finally, I rolled into Lorne tired, spent and satisfied. I finished 1223 of about 2600 riders and 123rd in my age group (30-34).

I learnt a few things on Sunday;

- I love my bike, but in the scheme of things, it is crap. I saw only a handful of bikes as inexpensive as mine,
- It's the motor turning the pedals that matter, not the carbon frame, $7000 gears etc; almost every person I outrode on the day had a bike worth several times as much as mine.
- Climbing big hills hurt bad!
- Coming down the other side of the hills is ace fun!
- The power of the pack! Riding in a group is incredibly easy compared to going it alone.
- $170 is a reasonable price to pay for a great experience and a great cause.
- I'm going to struggle to get Around The Bay In a Day in a month (but more about that another time).
- I'm proud of how far I've come.

With love,

100kms BITCHES!!!

2011-08-08T00:29:00.000-07:00

100kms BITCHES!!! by simondavies77 at Garmin Connect - Details

The task at hand.

2011-08-07T06:34:00.000-07:00

I had the (mis)fortune of hurting myself at work mid July. This meant a couple of weeks off work which coincided with the last 10-12 stages of Le Tour de France. I watched them all. As we all know, Cadel held his bike aloft while wearing the yellow jersey on the Champs Elysee.

Inspiring.

Since then I have registered for the Around The Bay in a Day in mid October. At the moment the furthest I have ridden in one hit is 90kms and it was U-G-L-Y, ugly. What I have signed up for is 210kms. Ouch.

What this means is that I have a couple of months to get from 90kms to 210kms. A big ask! I love a goal, a challege, and this will be a massive one.

Here goes nothing.

2011-05-09T05:02:00.001-07:00

Have I introduced you to...

She's in the business of 'ticking boxes' (boxes I didn't even know I had!).

Tri Man Half Iron Man

2011-04-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

My brother Tim has been training for several months for today's half-ironman in Torquay. I'm bloody proud of him; as well as grateful. His training inspired me to get of my arse and do something. And because of that I've lost about 6kgs.

A few of us got down there to show our support; the least we could do. Thanks heaps to Megs, Lisa and Loz for helping me kep an eye on the kids. You guys rock - as usual!

With love,

2011-03-30T03:28:00.000-07:00

Hey you...

2011-03-30T02:11:00.000-07:00

Welcome to me!

I started this a couple of years ago and it has been a sporatic diary of that time. At times I've blogged frequently, other times not so much. At times I've blogged happy, other times I've blogged very sad.

It is all honest, and it is all me.

Simon.

2011-03-05T03:25:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

Thought I'd check in and say 'hi'. 2011 continues to look positive for me and mine. I recently put an offer in on a unit which was accepted, but sadly the finance fell through. Not to be too put off I contacted a different broker who has been looking for finance for me. An application went in on Thursday and it's looking fairly good. I should find out midweek if we are good to go. The unit I originally offered on is still available. Fingers crossed!

Work is FANTASIC! We had some big changes in the centre and in my room (the 3-5 year olds) over the new year and things have settled beautifully. Mim and Danielle have brought their years of experience and I'm learning heaps and enjoying each day. Some of the toddlers who have moved up into our room can be very challenging, but on balance, things are great.

Anzac and Lola are awesome. Anzac started kinder last week which was a lovely moment for Trinity, Anzac and myself. School next year! Can't believe it. He will be five in April. Can't believe it.

Spent the afternoon in Point Lonsdale with my dear friend Bex today. Bumped into several kids from work; it's great to be involved in a smallish community.

I started running in mid January and have been churning out some good kilometres. I set a goal in February to run 100 kms and ended up doing 156 kms. I'm actually enjoying the running while I'm doing it. Usually, I run, not enjoy it, and then feel glad I did. To be enjoying it while I'm doing it is a real bonus and makes it easy to stay motivated. My immediate goal is to run the Geelong half marathon on May 1st. Shouldn't be a problem if the body doesn't give me any trouble. After that I'll think about a full marathon, but I'm reluctant to make it a goal. Just don't feel like I need the pressure, especially considering I'm enjoying running so much at the moment. I've lost about 5kgs in the last six weeks.

So that's me right now. Happy, healthy, single (and okay with that!), optimistic.

With love,

The loves of my life...

2011-02-05T22:31:00.000-08:00

2011-01-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

My new GPS watch rocks!

2011-01-24T01:01:00.000-08:00

Looking Up.

2011-01-17T01:26:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling pretty good about life at the minute.

Last week was my last night in 44 Kilgour. I had a few friends around and we drank beers and talked shit. I had a matress, a stereo, and an Esky. It was a great night. The morning wasn't so great though. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, leaving that place. I've given it everything I had for seven years; blood, sweat, tears, time, money, emotions. I was bawling my eyes out as I took the keys of my keyring and left them on the kitchen bench. Closing the front door behind me, knowing from that moment on I had no right to ever go back in to what had been mine for so long, was so hard. It was a rough day. I did get a wonderful text through the day from someone who knew I was struggling. It read;

'It won't be much consolation today but just think, you helped to create a place that is going to house joy and love and all of those crazy human things for someone and their family, who may have been longing for it just as much as you! And you did it with your own two hands! That's pretty special. I'm fairly sure 'the universe' repays something like that with your own joy and love and all of those human emotions, and somewhere special to house that too. It works in cycles :) Thinking of you! X'

That improved a horrible day. Thank you.

Aside from that bump in the road, things really are great. I'm pretty calm about my place in the world, which is a bit rare for me, particularly my place in the world as a single man; it doesn't usually sit well with me. Now that the house has settled and the money has cleared, I can look forward to buying a place to call my own. REALLY looking forward to having my own space; it's been too long.

The kids are fantastic, Lola moved into Anzac's room at daycare and has settled in beautifully, but, I knew she would.

So, happy days being me at the moment. 2011 is looking up.

With love,

"Bless this mess, we tried our best, that's all we can do." 2010 in review.

2011-01-01T01:24:00.000-08:00

Looking back on 2010 it's easy for me to write it off as a pretty disappointing year. But this is due to one little thing that for me is so big... love. If I try to objectively look at the year I can find a lot to like about it.

2010 100% guaranteed that Trin and I are over. It was probably more a case that we really accepted that we were done. No one gets married expecting anything less than forever and we were no different. This year made clear that there's nothing left; in fact, I have largely forgotten who the Trinity that I was so in love with is.

I was offered a redundancy from Kaisercraft this year and I accepted it. I had the time of my life there, but since early 2009 it stopped being a place I felt I really wanted to be. I felt stagnant, I felt that the company had lost its vision for the way it wanted to 'value' staff, and as such, it was an opportune time to leave. I'm grateful for my nearly seven years there.

I dated someone for a few months this year. The spark I expect to feel didn't come. It was really hard ending it because she was a lovely girl; sweet, kind, had a career I respect, and she really liked me. Hurting people is no fun, but I needed to look after me and dragging it on would have only hurt her more.

After leaving Kaisercraft I spent a few months working on my house, preparing it for sale. The tranformation was amazing (see http://www.realestate.com.au/property-house-vic-geelong-106957433# )and on auction day we were rewarded for our hard work. I've been living in the house since Trin moved out a few weeks back. Settlement is on the 12th of January... It's going to be deeply emotional leaving the grand old lady for the final time.

After leaving Kaisers I was reflecting on my time there and also looking forward, deciding what I wanted to do, what is important to me, where my skills and personality could be put to best use and I made a move into a field a bit left of centre for a guy - childcare. After the initial 10 applications sent had a poor response I tweaked my resume and cover letter and had a vastly improved result. I ended up interviewing at three place on one day and was offered two jobs. A fourth employer then tried to poach me after I'd accepted another job; and this was without even interviewing! As it turns out, I've lucked across a wonderful centre with a great boss. I work 40 hours over four days so I get a long weekend every single week! I think I might have found something I'm really good at. Best of all... it really matters.

2010 will go down as a defining year. Big changes, mostly good. New Year's Resolutions? None yet, and probably none to come. What's the point? If you want to change or do something why not just do it?

Happy New Year all, especially Tim, Loz and Scarlett, Az and Bern, Kylie, Chez, Mum and Dad, my old and dear friend Bex, Skye - may 2011 require little medical intervention! you deserve a break, Trin (let's hope we are still friends at the end of this one), Richelle, and others of who there are too many to mention.

Thank you Anzac and Lola for making the world in 2010 a place I wanted to live. I love you both with everything I am, with everything I have.

Stay safe all y'all!

With love,

Going, going, gone.

2010-11-29T02:53:00.002-08:00

Gone.
It's so final.
Auction on Saturday.
We got our reserve and a bit more which was nice.
But our home is no longer ours.
This is hard.

Home sweet...?

2010-10-23T05:15:00.000-07:00

I'm happy to admit I've done a great job preparing our house for sale. It has been some damn hard work, and a bit of money, but I think we have a really saleable product. Yes, it's simply a product now.
This isn't the home in which the four of us will share our life; that ideal has passed. Instead, Trin and I go our seperate ways into the great unknown. There will be two really emotional days in the coming months; the first will be when the hammer falls on auction day, the second will be closing the door behind us when we leave for the last time.
But I have time to get used to the idea. *Sigh*

It was Lola's 3rd birthday on the 14th. I can't believe my baby girl is three. She's a wonderful kid. So much (too much?) personality, I can barely keep up with her. Anzac continues to grow into such a good human being. He is so kind, caring and gentle. He loves loving, and loves being loved. He is my pride and joy.

I've been in my new career for about five or six weeks now and I'm thinking childcare was a good choice. I work in the kinder room until 3pm, and then I'm with the after school schoolies. I'm having a ball with the children, and my kinder room collegues are ace.

2010-08-20T03:31:00.000-07:00

It has been a very busy few weeks. Trin and I have decided it is time to sell up and part ways. Three weeks ago today we had a bobcat in to get to level the yard and pull the old brick fence down. Since then it has been action stations, and the results speak for themselves!

2010-07-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

Where I'm at...

2010-07-06T05:08:00.000-07:00

The 'Father Son' rule (supporter style).

2010-06-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

Anzac went to both his first game at Kardinia Park and his first game in Melbourne AND his first night match in the last few weeks. I actually had a little tear (yes, literally!) when we picked up his membership.

2010-05-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

Hi sports fans.

Friday just gone was my last day at Kaisercraft.

I have just finished the best seven years of employment I could ever have dreamt of. Stephen Kaiser has given me opportunities to shine based on faith and trust that I'd get the job done. I'm pretty sure I haven't let him down.
Highlights over my time have been-

- The occasional 'KAISERrush' shift, where an impossible amount of work needs to get done in limited time. This was the stuff that seperated the 'men from the boys' so to speak. 24 hour shifts are incredibly satisfying when it turns that impossible task into the completed task.
- Being runner up to my best mate, Aaron, in the 2008 Kaisercraft Employee of the Year.
- Kaisercraft receiving the Best New Entry award in the Geelong Business Excellence Awards in 2008.
- Working with my best friends for seven years.
- The leadership team's YMCA dance at the 2008 Christmas Party.
- Being charged with the task of opening the first Kaisercraft outlet (in Geelong) with 6 weeks to get it done from concept to completion.
- Knowing Kaisercraft has put many, many thousands of dollars into charities during my time there. (Particularly building the boys' home in Sri Lanka - kids have a warm, safe bed because of what we are doing at Kaisercraft).

I have had massive, massive highs in my time at Kaisercraft, and I have had deep troughs. I am grateful for every single second of my time there.

Thank you to all the scrappers I have met in person, or through blogs and forums. I wish you all the best. It's been great.

Simon (Notascrapper!)

2010-04-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

Smiles.

2010-04-17T01:19:00.000-07:00

Today's selfie and an "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" photo.

2010-04-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

I wrote this a few years ago for English when I was doing my VCE at night school. The setting is based firmly on my single ever favourite day ever, the ending (obviously) isn't. I got full marks for this piece and a real backhanded compliment from the teacher who wrote "I know you don't like Tim Winton, but this piece reminds me very much of his writing". Thanks Renee! You know reading Tim Winton makes my want to scoop my eyes out with a spoon!
Anyway. Here it is...

Untitled.

On a small boat in the Mediterranean was as good a place as any to be in late July 1999, or any year, he figured. It was an old wooden boat big enough to hold the fifty odd tourists who were mainly antipodeans, but small enough that it forced everyone on it to be cosy, which didn’t seem to bother anyone. He was leaning back on the bench seat that ran along the port side of the boat with his arms resting at shoulder height. Because the boat was cosy, this meant his arms were behind the backs of the people he sat next to. One was a South African girl, who spoke quasi-English and struggled to be understood by her fellow tourists. She did, on occasion however, entertain the group with stories of car-jackings and the like on the streets of Jo’burg. The other was an arrogant guy from Sydney, not entirely unpleasant, who was on very good terms with himself, and did his upmost to appear ostensibly bored by Greece, as he was all the sights of continental Europe. But the arrogant, not unpleasant guy from Sydney didn’t matter today.

The rail he stretched his arms out on was painted blue. The boat was painted blue and white; apparently everything in Greece was painted blue and white, must be in the country’s constitution, he mused, to match the flag, maybe. The blue rail looked as if it had been painted over and over fifty times without ever being sanded back. In fact, the whole boat looked like paint was holding it together. He wondered without really caring, how much wider the rail was with all that paint on it than when it was first made. He listened briefly to the engine labour under the weight of the boat and all its paint. It worked hard with a rhythmic chug not unlike an old locomotive. It sounded tired but inevitable, he thought, like the engine was itself resigned to the fact that it must keep going despite its dirty valves and low oil pressure. The engine would one day stop, quit and refuse. But the engine didn’t matter today.

He hauled himself to his feet as if tired, though he wasn’t, and went to what the boat’s captain loosely described as the galley. It was little more than a broom cupboard, but it was here where the beer was kept in a cooler filled with melting ice, and that made it an important part of the boat. He reached deep into the cooler that would only get warmer, retrieved his fourth can of beer and slid it into the promotional stubby holder that identified the tour group he was travelling with. He eased the ring pull and was rewarded with the satisfying sound of escaping gases. He smiled. It was a cheap beer here but back home would be described as “premium” and cost the equivalent of a six-pack of normal stuff. But the price of beer didn’t matter today.

He chose not to return to his place next to the Sydneysider and South African, but instead went upfront to sit in the sun. Sitting in the sun he kept his own counsel. He enjoyed it that way. He took a long drink of the still-chilled beer and wondered if it was the best he would ever have. By now the boat had stopped and been anchored. It need not have been, he thought, the sea was like glass and not a breath of wind cooled the air. He looked at his bare, brown chest and stomach, glistening from sweat and low factor sunscreen and was not displeased. Although underdeveloped for his twenty-two years, he was nevertheless lithe and defined. The other twenty-somethings on the boat looked bigger than him, they carried more weight and appeared stronger, but he looked good. He wondered if today was the best day he’d ever had. He drank from his can again and enjoyed it. All things being equal, the beer would eventually make his firm, flat stomach swell outward into soft flab. But getting fat from beer didn’t matter today.

He finished the drink quickly, and without waiting to sober up, or for an hour as his mother would have wanted, went to the edge of the boat and dived into the sea. He swam underwater with his eyes open. He stayed under long enough for him to wonder if the people on the boat were wondering where he was. Breaking the surface of the water thirty metres from the boat he pulled the hair back from his face and rubbed his eyes. His legs kicked gently and automatically beneath him in the cooler water and he thought that life could not actually get any better. He felt light and drunk. He looked back at the boat where no one was looking back at him. He liked that. The water was still enough and clear enough that he could appreciate its beauty. It was blue. Blue like the boat’s painted hull. Iridescent blue like he had seen on postcards of exotic locations that didn’t exist in real life. But this was real life, and water, it turned out, really could look like that. He tried to float on his back but his legs kept sinking and he realised how much cooler the water below was. Swimming twenty or so strokes on his back he felt the sun on his chest again, it was warm, even in the water. He looked directly at it for a moment and then, when he closed his eyes, could still see it. He stopped swimming and treaded water, he legs felt a bit tired. But he was fit. Looking back at the boat he was surprised at how far away it was. Maybe it was time to swim back, lie on the bow and drink another beer. Upon think this, he felt a tightness in his left hamstring and almost immediately, his right. He was going to call to the boat but caught a small mouthful of salty water that made him gag. He thought about how, as a kid, he used to gag on anchovies that shouldn’t be on pizza but sometimes were. Then he thought how his arms were doing the work his legs should have been, but weren’t. His arms were failing him. Where he should have been panicking, he was not. Where he should have been scared of what was happening, he was not. The beer had made him not care. He looked around and noticed, without consequence, that the shore wasn’t all that far away. A large bird wandered around on sand that reflected the sun and occasionally pecked away at something he couldn’t see. He coughed again and took in more of the salty anchovy water. He was tired now, and as he breathed in a lungful of iridescent blue Mediterranean water, and as his lithe and defined body sank, he thought how today, or tomorrow, nothing would ever matter.

Selfie, 13th April

2010-04-13T04:07:00.000-07:00

And something I hate.

2010-04-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

My bed. I hate my bed. Not only is it old and uncomfortable, it is empty. I hate sleeping alone. Hate not spooning someone. Hate being celebate. Hate it. Stupid bed.

These are a few of my favourite things...

2010-04-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Because my bedroom is my only personal space in the world, most of what is in it is my favourite stuff. Have a look -

This photo has a few favs. The old radiogram is something I picked up for free from the Mill Market in Geelong. I think it is just a beautiful piece of furniture, and the radio works. I love my red TV, but worry about its future when the analogue signal gets switched off shortly. Also love my old fan, which I got from the Sunday market several years ago. You can just make out my glass trophy, I recieved that for being Kaisercraft's runner up employee of the year in 2008. It's something i'm unashamedly proud of.

Here's some old movie posters we bought at Mark Ward's Antiques. I actually made the frames from scratch. Can't believe I went to the trouble. I think these are cool as!

Who doesn't love books? I don't have a book shelf so mine accumilate in piles on the floor.

Trin got this awesomely horrid rug depicting the Last Supper from her nana's garage sale. I BLOODY LOVE this thing. Religious paraphernalia is so dorky which makes it great.

Mum and Dad got me this last year when I was having a really rough patch. I don't know how they got it, particularly how they got it signed 'to Simon' by Gary Ablett Jnr, but I do know when I look at it I am reminded how much they love me.

The winner is...

2010-03-29T02:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you Skye.

2010-03-21T01:01:00.001-07:00

"You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself."

An open letter.

2010-03-11T03:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Chez,

I have a mixture of happiness and sadness at today’s news of your resignation. Selfish me is so sad to see you leave Kaisercraft; it’s one less person that I work with that I love. I have said ‘farewell and good luck’ to a few workmates –friends – recently that I really care about, and you are another. The other side of me is so pleased that you have recognised that work is dimming your lamp, and that you’ve had the courage to say enough’s enough.

I’m also sad because I know people won’t fully appreciate what we are losing. Your passion for the outlet, even from its humble beginnings in the tin shed in North Geelong, is second to none. Your passion for the causes the outlets raise money for, is also second to none. I really believe no one at Kaisercraft, Stephen and Carolyn included, care about the kids we provide for, more than you. I sometimes wish the outlet still was in that tin shed in North Geelong, you seemed so happy there.

I’m so unbelievably and indescribably grateful for your friendship. That our friendship and love could sprout, grow and flourish is a true testament to its strength; particularly considering our vastly different belief structures; your devout Christianity and my staunch Atheism. You came along at just the right time in my life, my marriage breakdown felt like losing a leg, but you were there to be my crutch. The tears I have cried on your shoulder, the anger I have vented to you, the frustrations I have divulged, and the occasional, usually small, victories I have shared with you have all been cathartic for me. Healing and grief overlap, and only very, very few people have been there – wanted to be there – to help me heal, and share my grief. Whatever path my life takes, I will not forget the support you’ve been to me through the worst of it.

Thank you for your ‘shugs’.

Thank you for the love you give Anzac and Lola. If I start counting the people who love them truly, madly, deeply, unconditionally and often, I come to your name before I’ve counted past my first hand. You are such a friend to them already. Even at (almost) four, and 2 and a half, I know you mean the world to my kids, and I know when they start reeling off names of the people they love, ‘Chezzie’ is always right near the top of the list. Thank you also for the practical support you’ve given me, babysitting on the odd occasions I’ve been stuck for help (even though I know both you and them consider hanging out together a real treat!).

Chez, if I have given back half of what I have taken from you I will be happy. I have tried my best to be a good friend, I try to give the best advice I can, and I try to just be there and listen when that’s what you need. I hope I honour your friendship enough to get those things right. I have taken and taken and taken from your lamp when mine has been dull, but I hope in my moments of personal strength, that I have been able to give you light from my lamp, making you bright again. You are one of the brightest lights in my life.

This sounds like a eulogy, doesn’t it? I’m glad I can do/say this now, when you are here to read it. Because sometimes, things aren’t said, and people never know how important they are. I want you to know.

You spend so much time lifting others that you forget about yourself. Now it’s time to think of you, be selfish. You are worthy of the love you receive. Don’t ever doubt that, or second guess yourself. When people want to listen to you, when they want you to lean on them, when they want to love you, know it’s the universe paying you back for all that you have given – it’s them paying you back for all that you have given, done and been for them. Receive that love with the good grace with which it is given and offered, and know that you deserve the love you receive. Do you hear me? You deserve the love you receive.

Chez, I look forward to being your friend for a long time. I look forward to hanging out with you and David many times over many years to come. I love your caustic sarcasm as much as I love your genuine love. It all makes you, you. All the poxy Lancôme in the world doesn’t make you any more beautiful to me than you already are. All the best for whatever unfolds, whatever it is, you know I’ll be right there, either next to you, or only ever a phone call away. Call me any time... any time, and I’ll be there.

With unconditional love,

Si.

2010-03-05T22:59:00.000-08:00

I grabbed this scoop of hail about 30 minutes after the hail storm.

SMS from Trin (I needed to hear this).

2010-02-15T20:25:00.000-08:00

"How you feeling? Don't be sad, you have 2 kids who think the world of you, you have a job and support us all. Even if we were together we would be poor, even more than now. Be proud of what you are doing. XO"

7th Wedding anniversary today.

2010-02-14T14:57:00.001-08:00

15th February 2003

Yves Klien Blue

2010-02-12T13:20:00.000-08:00

This is awesome. Go to the 10min 30 sec mark and find the start of the 'Like a Version' (cover) of Lou Reed's 'Walk On the Wild Side'.
Bloody awesome.
http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/media/s2817618.htm

2010-02-09T20:35:00.001-08:00

I've just seen that I have had visitors to this blog from (but not limited to) Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam - California, USA - Dublin, Ireland - Moscow, Russia - and all over Australia!
That's cool.
Thanks for visiting.

Cause and effect...

2010-02-05T03:15:00.000-08:00

Bradman.

2010-02-03T15:31:00.000-08:00

2009...

2010-01-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

The title to my review on 2008 was "2008, not my best one". Well, results are in, and 2009 wasn't much better. And before I get responses from people like Skye pointing out the stuff I have to be grateful for, yes, I know. But there was some shit stuff, some really shit stuff in '09.

I had some struggles at work. These went from being struggles that could have been disastrous, to being opportunities to find out more about myself. I also learnt there is a dollar value on pride. I put my pride and ego on the shelf, and it saved me. I am pretty proud of how I performed at work in 2009, and it has given me a good foundation on which to move forward.

Anzac and Lola rocked my 2009. They are the best. I embraced Anzac's gentle, caring nature and have been rewarded for it. I used to worry about how 'soft' he was, but now I enjoy it. I probably enjoy it more because I see the contrast between he and Lola. Lola. What a maniac. This kid has more personality, self determination and confidence than a footy team. She really is the apple of my eye...

Speaking of which, 'holy moley, me oh my, you're the apple of my eye'... Home, by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, and Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons, were my two favourite songs of the year. While on art, my favourite book was The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. See more on my year of books at here.

I had a retarded year in regard to l-o-v-e, love. Ran into an ex (a back-in-the-day ex)at a party, courted ex, kissed ex, slept with ex, fell in love with ex... I'm tired just thinking about it. Was fucked around by ex, and probably fucked her around a bit myself. On and off for months, when it was good it was great, but when it was bad it was horrible... and it was bad way too often. After months of bullshit, of no no no no, yes from her, I gave up. Further sagas followed and then eventually, after a final mistake, a final regression, enough was enough. It was finally over. That was a few months ago, and I'm happy to say it is still over. Nothing further to say on that, on her. It's done.

I moved in with one of my oldest friends in 2009. Rebecca is an ex (okay, I know it sounds weird, but trust me, it sounds weirder to Bex and I that we were together) and it was always a bit of a risk moving in together, but I think two people thought it could work, and that was her and I. 10 months on and I'm pleased to say it has worked. It's great having someone to talk about your day to, to be a smartarse to, to eat dinner with. Bex is great with the kids and an added bonus is that Bex's mum Elaine ('Easy') has become another Nana to AJ and Lol. All in all, it was maybe the best thing to come out of 2009.

Trin and I are very good friends. For a lot of 2009 and was convinced we were never a chance of getting back together, but as I write this, I think we are some chance. It will be a long way off, and will take a lot of work, but I do think we could, if everything goes right, salvage our marriage. February 15th is our 7th anniversary.
So, watch this space. Hope the new year and new decade is good to you.

2010-01-10T00:13:00.000-08:00

This was how I ended my decade... with the three most important people on my planet. This was almost EXACTLY ten year to the minute from when I first spoke to Trin. I was working at the George IV pub in London and Trin rang from my Dad's house. She was pissed, I'd never spoken to her, and after she ranted for a moment I said "can you please put my Dad on?" I met her in person six months later when I returned to Australia. I knew when I first saw her that I was going to shag her... not 'love at first sight', but definately 'lust at first sight'. Ten years later she is my favourite person over three years old.

2009-12-24T13:00:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The Final Feast.

2009-12-23T00:49:00.000-08:00

Back Row - Kev (Warehouse Guru) 5 years, Simon (Stencil room, Warehouse) 6.5 years, Aaron (Stamps, Warehouse Manager) 4.5 years, Matt (Sales Manager, Inventory) 1.5 years, Tim (Joinery, Stencil room, Business Development Manager, General Manager, Sales and Marketing Manager 7.5 years), Tom (Designer, Design Manager, Brand Manager 5 years), Front Row - Trin (Sales Rep.) 1 year, Lauren (Warehouse, Sales Manager) 9 years, Liz (Pick and Pack Team Leader)7 years, Richelle (PA to General Manager, Product Development, Inventory Control, Entertainment Coordinator)4 years.
These people represent just under 50 years of service to Kaisercraft.

This week Kaisercraft farewelled its most important and most influential employee. Tim Davies, my brother, started in the joinery over seven years ago. Since then he has worked in the now defunct stencil room, the warehouse, the office - as business development manager, sales manager and of course, general manager. As general manager he took turnover from $X to $X x 3. All that in three years at the helm. His influence, leadership and management has been second to none.
It is a poorer company for the loss of his abilities.
Today Tim's closest and longest serving workmates gathered for a farewell BBQ.

True story.

2009-12-18T14:32:00.000-08:00

This did happen. Thought I'd write about it from the third person. Enjoy.

9:53.
9:52.
9:51. The microwave counts down inevitably, silently.
It isn’t cooking, it is counting. Counting down. Simon doesn’t usually use the timer feature to remind him when the ‘no brand’ spiral pasta is al dente, or something close to al dente, but Simon is tired, and checking pasta for two kids who may or may not be fussy tonight is something he can’t be bothered with.
9:32.
His daughter, Lola, two years old, is at his feet.
‘Pick me up, Daddy.’
‘Honey, I’m trying to cook dinner.’ In truth dinner is pretty well organised, the pasta sauce has been pre-prepared and only needs heating, the garlic bread is in the oven, and the ‘no brand’ spiral pasta is contentedly bubbling away with...
9:01 to go.
‘Pick me up, DADDY!’ More urgent this time.
Simon looks around the kitchen. It isn’t strange that he should do this, he knows the room, but he doesn’t really know the room. He and he wife, Trinity, are separated, and have been for 15 months. In that time she has moved things, given them new homes, and he doesn’t always know where something can be found, or where something belongs. His eyes come across a tub of Playdoh and a bucket of accessories on top of the fridge.
‘Do you want to sit at the table and play with the Playdoh?’ Simon asks his little girl, more in hope than anticipation.
‘Yeah.’
Hallelujah.
He sits Lola in her booster seat at the end of the table and places the blue Playdoh in the yellow tub in front of her.
7:46.
‘Open it, Dad.’ Simon complies, and ventures to the pasta to give it a perfunctory stir.
‘And the toys!’ She is referring to the larger bucket that contains the cookie cutter shapes, the roller, the plastic scissors that could only cut Playdoh, the press to make Playdoh spaghetti, etc. etc.
‘Yes, babe.’
He offers her the bucket, telling her she can choose five of the colourful plastic accessories. The tub has about thirty in it; he doesn’t want to be packing up thirty pieces in...
7:16.
Lola takes three handfuls of accessories and ends up with seven pieces. She is happy with that, so is her Dad.
She busies herself pulling apart her Playdoh and doing nothing very creative with it. At this time Anzac, her older brother, three and a half, wanders in. He’d been pretending to surf on a piece of cardboard in hallway, and is still naked from the bath he’d had 15 minutes earlier, actually, naked apart from the pale blue Haviana thongs he is wearing.
‘What’s Lol’ doing, Dad?’ His interest sparked by the apparent excitement happening with Playdoh and accessories at the kitchen table. Without waiting for an answer he climbs onto his seat just to the right of his little sister.
Seeing potential for trouble, Simon takes a seat at the table, ready to adjudicate over the inevitable squabbles. Lola looks suspiciously at her brother. At two, she knows this is how things work; she has something, he wants it, sometimes it’s that he has something, she wants it. At 32 her Dad also knows how things work, and takes the opportunity for a pre-emptive strike, ‘Lola, how about you give Anzac this much,’ breaking off half of her portion of Playdoh, ‘and you can have this much,’ returning half of her original amount. For a nervous moment Simon holds his breath. It could go wrong here.
4:44.
4:43.
‘I’m going to make a Christmas tree,’ Anzac offers, breaking the silence. It appears it’s enough to distract Lola from the fact that she is short half her Playdoh.
Simon breaths again.
Trinity left on Friday morning for a weekend in Queensland with a girlfriend. It’s Sunday evening and he and the kids are ready for ‘Mum’ to intervene in their collective lives. He misses her; as the kids’ mum, but more so as his... wife. Yes, she is still his wife.
Moments after Anzac commences the construction of a Playdoh Christmas tree, Lola decides she’s bored with it all. She clumsily climbs down from the chair and heads for the lounge room. Seeing an opportunity, Anzac turns to his Dad and says, ‘now I can have Lola’s Playdoh, can’t I, Dad?’
3:03.
Lola hears this and turns.
Simon can actually see her mind ticking over, he can hear it.
Tick.
3:02.
Tick.
3:01.
Tick.
3:00.
She eyes her brother. Her hair is falling all over her face, not yet brushed or tied back since her bath. Her dummy is firmly ensconced in her mouth. The hair and the dummy conspire to perfectly frame, hide, and slightly reveal – all at once – Lola’s almond shaped eyes. Even though he loves this girl unconditionally, and in a logical, intellectual sense, he knows it’s not true, those eyes look evil, and if not evil, potentially evil. It’s Simon’s second nervous moment in the last minute and 43 seconds. Anzac glances from Lola to Dad, Dad to Lola. Simon looks from Anzac to Lola.
2:55.
Lola decides this battle isn’t worth it and wanders off to wherever it was she was headed.
‘Dinner’s in three minutes, Lola Pearl,’ Simon calls out.
Anzac continues shaping a Christmas tree from Playdoh.

2009-11-24T17:07:00.000-08:00

The Good Stuff.

2009-11-24T01:44:00.001-08:00

Did some wakeboarding tonight with Tim, Matt and Tom. Tried a 360... failed, but failed well. Here's a shot of it.

My Favourite Girl

2009-11-20T15:07:00.000-08:00

My Favourite Man.

2009-10-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

One day he won't want kisses from his Dad... but for now, I'll enjoy them.

2009-09-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

It's all about FOOTY today!

2009-09-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

GO CATS!

2009-09-25T03:33:00.001-07:00

Richelle, Aaron, Me.

WWE!

2009-09-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Nokia's newest mobile phone feature... Time travel!

2009-09-19T18:55:00.001-07:00

Using my phone, I thought the "I have a dream" speech would be worth seeing first hand...
There I am!

2009-09-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

This is a genuine photo of me on Mars!!!!

2009-09-17T03:25:00.000-07:00

Newness.

2009-09-09T22:31:00.001-07:00

I'm 32 years old and I'm going to try and make risotto for the first time tonight. I'm sure it will be fine, but there is some fear of the unknown...

Yay!

2009-09-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

It's Fathers' Day weekend and I have the kids all weekend.
Five minutes after picking them up form daycare this arvo I will be on top of the world. I'm having a great second half of the week anyway, so getting the kids will just bump me up one more level of happiness.
Hopefully tommorow morning we can get into the garden and they can help me do some wedding ready to start a vege patch. I think it will be nice for them to watch food grow and then eat it. It will teach them about where food comes from. It will also give them something to check up on when they come and stay at Dad's house.
We will watch the footy (well, Lola and I will probably watch, Anzac will read books or something) tomorrow afternoon before family dinner to welcome Scarlett to the family and send Mum and Dad off on their 5 week holiday.
And then Fathers' Day! Every Saturday is Fathers' Day for a seperated Dad, but the real thing is extra special.

I love you Anzac.
I love you Lola Pearl.

The sun is shining, and the birds are singing!

2009-09-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but I'm on top of the world today!
just thought I'd share that with you.
XOXO

A time to share.

2009-08-31T20:47:00.000-07:00

This is just one part of "Kid o'clock". Kid o'clock is how I describe the time between leaving work, and giving the kids back to thier mum, to my friend Katie. Kid o'clock includes the pick up from daycare, getting home, making dinner, having baths, getting in our PJs, brushing teeth and the drop off. If you have kids, you'll be able to relate to Kid o'clock. My friend knows that during Kid o'clock, my attention is with them, so I may not always be available to her.

Lola is more than happy to pose for a happy snap!

Sunday morniong at the park. Life's good!

Lola Pearl's first ever trip to the footy.

Perfection! (Boogers and all!)

Do yourself a favour...

2009-08-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

Read this,

Trust me on this.

Celebrity Shag...

2009-08-27T13:57:00.001-07:00

So, you all know what a celebrity shag is, right?
Well, I have just transferred Celibrity Shag status to a new person.
My first ever official one was Melissa Doyle (yes, I know I'm wierd).
Today I am changing from my clebrity shag of the last couple of years - Sharelle McMahon, to Marieke Hardy.
My celebrity shags obviously aren't biased to looks, rather, these women (in my opinion) have a certain je ne sais quoi...

Time.

2009-08-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." Gloria Naylor.

Bath time with AJ & Lola Pearl!

2009-08-26T03:48:00.000-07:00

Pick me up...

2009-08-26T03:39:00.001-07:00

Some of you may know I've been a bit flat lately.
Well, Mum and Dad bought me something that now resides on the wall of my bedroom, and cheers me up every time I look at it...

It's signed "To Simon, Best wishes, Gary Ablett JNR."

Blood and Beer.

2009-08-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

Michael and I. Opera Bar.

Victoria.

Phoebe.

The Silver Fox, my cousin Ian, Brother Michael, Me.

A great day with real life blood relatives! And beers.
I wasn't sure about hanging out with my cousin Ian while we were in Sydney. Dad organised it, and I'm not sure if it was out of a sense of duty, or that he really wanted to meet him again after so long. My fears were unfounded. Ian was not at all 'English', which is, we know, often boring and miserable. Maybe that's why he moved from England.
We spent the whole afternoon at the Opera Bar on Circular Quay, with Ian, his wife Olivia and daughters Phoebe and Victoria. They were all lovely. None of it felt awkward or contrived, it was really natural.
Eventually we made it back to the hotel in Kings Cross, carrying the Silver Fox (Dad) most of the way back. He got a second wind and we went to a pub. Schooners were $3 each, a blessed relief after paying $6 all day. We stayed in the pub a couple of hours before Foxy took off home, blind drunk, Michael went wherever he was going, and I wandered around Kings Cross. I got back to the hotel after a while and crashed.
I'm typing this in Sydney airport as I wait for our flight home.
I feel terrible.

Sydney

2009-08-16T02:14:00.000-07:00

"As the Manly ferry cuts its way to Circular Quay"... I did that. I lived an Aussie Crawl song.

My 'header'.

2009-08-13T01:50:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,
It will be hard not to notice the new header to my blog. I don't want you to think I have put it there lightly, without thought. Before that picture it was the famous Robert Doisneau photo of the lovers kissing. The one now is just a reminder... bad things happen in this world, and as uncomfortable as it might make us, it doesn't hurt to remember that.
The world is a beautiful, beautiful place, but don't forget there are scars on its history.

Last month's header.

2009-08-12T18:12:00.000-07:00

This is about my relationship with Katie...

Hide And Seek

Flowering too quickly
A love
Bright like the sun hurting the eyes
And then gone like the autumn leaf
Gold then brown then fallen
Returning to the earth

And a winter that endures
Time and distance
Too long
Ranges vast and wide
Where time merely survives and waits
And waits
For a returning sun

Not like a slow breaking dawn
But a supernova of passion
The sun returns
From child like games
It hides and I seek
The ripe plump fruit the tree yields
Brought to life by a light once lost

Then
Shifting across the boundless skies
A reckless moon covers a sun
Not yet strong enough to endure
A daytime quickly brought to night
Where winter returns too soon
Fruit and flowers and leaves and life
Fall to the sodden dirt
To once more begin a life
Borne from the womb of the mother earth.

Pablo Neruda

2009-08-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't have thought this would help, but when I am down about love, reading this helps. There is some really beautiful poetry in this book, and I'm not really into poetry.

New (s)crap!

2009-08-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

Okay sports fans, here's my new LO. Featuring the stunning Davies children. Proudly presented by Kaisercraft's Loire Valley paper range. I like this, hope you do too!

Our day (if you care)...

2009-08-02T00:10:00.001-07:00

We had a really good day. Anzac, Lola and I went to 'The Big City', AKA Melbourne. We parked near the Shrine and walked into the CBD. I like to get the kids amongst people, crowds. They don't see much of that sort of 'busyness' in G-town.

I had never been to the Shrine. Disgraceful really. I have to go to a dawn service soon.

Notice Lola's shoe missing? I didn't. Realised a couple of blocks later... where could it be? Had to retrace our steps.

And there it was. Way back in Fed Square. What a pain in the bum!

Good advice for life, I think. (A wall in Chinatown).

Finally...

2009-08-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

By the end of the day Monday I'll have posted my latest Layout. I love it. Can't wait to get a photo taken and show you all.
Watch this space!

Given to Fly

2009-07-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

He floated back down 'cause he wanted to share,
His key to the locks on the chains he saw everywhere,
But first he was stripped and then he was stabbed,
By faceless men, well, fuckers,
He still stands,

And he still gives his love, he just gives it away,
The love he receives is the love that is saved,
And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky,
A human being that was given to fly.

Saturday Night.

2009-07-11T04:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not made for sitting at home alone on my own. It's not me. I draw (a) little comfort from knowing my kids are tucked in bed safely down the hallway.
But sitting on the couch watching TV alone isn't for me. Tonight, I'm so bloody lonely, I want to be sitting here with Trin, my best friend. I miss her.
This is depressing...

My Clever Wife.

2009-07-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

Trin got her results for the first trimester of her Uni studies. Four High Distinctions out a possible four! Go Trinny!

Mum.

2009-07-09T16:49:00.000-07:00

All is as good as one might hope for, mum goes home today.
Thanks for all the best wishes.

Mum.

2009-07-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

Doctor just said it went okay... the surgery.
She'll be here for 5-10 days.

Mick.
TJ

Untitled post...

2009-07-06T04:39:00.000-07:00

Hospital.

Bloody horrible place,
Full so often of sick people,
Too infrequently with healthy people,
I'm here tonight, now,

The floor's cold,
My arse is sore,
Punching out shit poetry,
On my laptop,

Four men,
Waiting,
For smarter men than us,
To fix a mum, a wife,

Mild heart attack,
'Mild',
Ironic,
When used with the words 'heart' and 'attack',

We talk about other stuff,
Pointless stuff, footy,
The footy mattered yesterday,
It doesn't matter today,

Dear smarter men,
Fix a mum, a wife,
Make her better,
We aren't ready to not have her here,
Thank you.

Life is perfect when you have these...

2009-06-29T01:38:00.000-07:00

I already fear for the future... Lola Pearl will be a handful!

Classic representation of both kids - Lola, loud, confident, assured and very boisterous - Anzac, quieter, sweet, gentle, allowing Lola the spotlight.

Flogging a Dead...

2009-06-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

Dead horse is a euphemism for sauce,
But they gave Mr Ed Peanut butter,
To make him look like he was talking,
A horse can't talk of course,

Phar Lap didn't eat peanut butter,
His stick like legs,
Defying physics to carry his 500 kilo bulk,
Then dead, poisoned by some nutter,

"Nuts" is the folly of steeplechase,
Running fast and jumping a bad idea,
Results in bullets in the heads,
Of horses who have run their last race,

Horses are like motorbikes,
Except they have a brain,
Horses that is,
Actually, they are nothing alike,

Have you had a sore throat,
You've been a bit hoarse,
Which is a lot better than feeling a horse,
Do that and you will be smote.

Stunning.

2009-06-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

So I hit the 'next blog' button a bunch of times to see what's out there. Came across Spanish, Russian, Chinese of some description, and then this - http://umashakthi.blogspot.com/
It's beautiful. I have no idea what it said, but I liked it. Why can't we use such a pretty written word? Have a look.

Never too old (to be stupid!).

2009-06-10T01:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we're idiots. But we do know it. This is me and my brother TJ hamming it up.

Is this the archetypal image of Gen X? I was told it is me "captured perfectly". Hmmm...

So, I know this looks like we're taking things seriously, but we weren't. Just mucking around and giving Tim the chance to practice with some different stuff to think about.

Again, it looks more serious than we were taking it. At least I'm facing the right way so my broken nose doesn't look too bad!

More fun stuff. I like this one.

Highlights from Crop for a Cause.

2009-05-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

Debbie's punishment for secretly taking her photo on my camera is to have said photo published on my blog!
Two of my favourites, Kylie and Chezzie.
Aggie and Me. She's a good person. Me, not so much.

Nature.

2009-05-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

A scorpion approached a frog on the side of a river. Listen Frog, I was wondering if you could carry me across the river, I need to get to the other side". The frog replies, "Why would I do that, you're a scorpion, you'll sting me".
The scorpion say, "No I won't, because if I sting you, you'll die, and I'll drown". The frog thinks for a moment and says "good point".
Half way across the river the scorpion stings the frog. The frog is dying from the poison and the scorpion is drowning. The frog says "Why'd you do that? Now we are both going to die."
"Because I'm a scorpion", it replied.

Like School on Sundays (me).

2009-05-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

He has a French accent,
It sounds out of place,
Sitting us in our place,
He'll get us water,

Swanky, we're meant to think.
A bit wanky is what I reckon,
It is, if you think about it,
A glorified food hall,

Food delivered,
The French guy has a wooden table leg,
It turns out to be a too large pepper grinder,
Say 'when' he says,

The grub was good,
And we're meant to be grateful,
That the bread is gratis,
He pointed that out,

Good company is great though,
And his French accent,
I think he is bunging it on,
They don't do that at Maccas.

Old (s)crap!

2009-05-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

I see Mel has directed some traffic from the 'Crop for a Cause' blog... thanks, I think. Ha ha!

It was good fun going to last Saturday's Crop and I look forward to the next one. No, I'm not a scrapper, but I thought I'd better post some scrapping I've done for the new visitors who would come to my blog and wonder where it is. I haven't completed anything in ages so this is some older work.

For those who don't know, I work at Kaisercraft... this LO has a photo of a bit of a mishap we had a while ago. One of the lads was driving a pallet of paper to the people who once packaged it for us, he went around a corner a touch fast and the whole pallet slid off the ute and ended up on the road. It was pretty funny stuff. Anyway, I took a photo and scrapped it, here it is.

Have a great day!

Ramblings of the Thirsty.

2009-05-06T01:22:00.000-07:00

Just a paper bag,
Contained within is life, leaves,
Staring down the oxidants,
Are the antioxidants.

That means nothing to me,
Someone must understand,
Why we believe we need,
Things we need not.

But the larder contains within,
No trace of Ceylon's finest,
There isn't even any Lipton,
I'm let down by a friend.

Usually so reliable,
Until now so dependable,
But I'll have to go home,
Because there is no tea.

Good Luck? Bad Luck?

2009-05-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

A father and his son owned a farm. They did not have many animals, but they did own a horse. One day the horse ran away.“How terrible, what bad luck,” said the neighbours.“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.

Several weeks later the horse returned, bringing with him four wild mares.“What marvellous luck,” said the neighbours.“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.

The son began to learn to ride the wild horses, but one day he was thrown and broke his leg.“What bad luck,” said the neighbours.“Good luck, bad luck, who knows?” replied the farmer.

The next week the army came to the village to take all the young men to war. The farmer’s son was still disabled with his broken leg, so he was spared. “Good luck, bad luck, who knows?”

Every Saturday is Father's Day.

2009-04-22T13:05:00.000-07:00

The kids and I have had a couple of great weekends. Last weekend we went to the iconic Fairy Park in Anakie. Strangely, as an adult, it wasn't half as dodgy as I remember it being from when I was a kid.

The weekend before that we went to the Zoo with Nain (Anzac and Lola's Nan - "Nain" is grandmother in Welsh).

Trin has been super busy with her studies recently so it is important that the kids still get to do fun stuff. I'm not sure who has enjoyed our outings more... them or me!

Look! A giraffe!

Look! Pinocchio!

Jane Davies, sixty years on.

2009-04-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

So, we had Mum's 60th brthday party on the weekend and I was volunteered by Dad to do a speech for her. It went well. Here it is...

"Before I begin, can we all acknowledge Lauren and Tim for hosting us tonight, and if you don’t have a drink, try and grab one so you aren’t empty handed for the toast.

Good evening, I’m Simon Davies, Jane’s eldest son. I’m saying a few words, mainly on behalf of my brothers, TJ and Mick, and dad, Elwyn, but also on behalf of the entire Davies family, Lauren, Trinity, Ruth, Raph, Isaiah, Anzac, Lola... and of course, Peanut. All of us Davies’s because of Jane.

The life of Jane.

April Fools Day 1949, Jane Gladys Maria Vizard is born in Cardiff, Wales, to Welsh born Raymond and German born Helga.
From the mid fifties to mid sixties little Jane walks 50 miles daily, in blizzards, with no shoes, just to get herself to school.
Not academic, Jane soon ditched school and those torturous treks in the snow.
Late sixties are spent, Jane and Gill painting the Vale of Glamorgan red. Party time, night after night, living above a surgery for which they were getting subsidised rent. The rent was subsidised because they cleaned the surgery... they usually cleaned it in the early hours of the morning after another night on the tiles. The landlord must have liked them, because they usually did a pretty dodgy job.

On the 23rd December 1970, Jane met Elwyn Davies over racks of ties, or some other such fashion accessory, in David Morgan’s, Cardiff’s version of our Myer.

Soon after, Elwyn left Wales to make a new start in Australia, and presumably to put 17,000 kms between himself and Jane, but some 9 months after meeting him over men’s clothes, Jane packed a bag and she too emigrated from Wales, to Australia. Arriving in Melbourne, Jane was so keen to see dad she fell over and laddered her stockings. Jane and Elwyn settled together in Melbourne.

1972, entering the registry office as Jane Vizard, she leaves as Jane Davies, now married to the love of her life.

1973, Jane, Elwyn, and a canary named ‘Clockwork Orange’ make the 80km trip in a Morris 1100 to
what will become their home for life- Geelong.

After just under 5 years of marriage, the kids start rolling in. 1977, 1978, and 1980 see the arrival of Simon, Timothy (not Tim, I didn’t name him “Tim”) and Michael, mum’s favourite – she’ll get mad at me for saying that. Simon, Timothy, Michael, all products of Jane, Elwyn and Baxter house... Although she didn’t know it then, Jane had herself “a pack of smartarses”.
Three boys, Mum and Dad, and for the next twenty three years this is the entire Australian chapter of the Davies family.

The next twenty plus years reads something like this...

Shoulder pads. Perms. Failed businesses, Renovations, Family holidays to Bali, England, all parts of regional Victoria. The ubiquitous household cleaning regime second to none. Selling jeans, selling caravans, selling cars... Geelong’s first female car salesperson. Kids succeeding. Kids Failing. Mum always there no matter what. Never judging, and never losing faith in her boys. No matter how badly it seemed we were messing up, particularly me and Michael. Allowing us to fail forward. “Ooh, I love me boys, I do”. Welcoming girlfriends, then wives into the family. Becoming a Nana, becoming “Nain”. Bagging bargains at markets. Always looking for bargains. Buying houses. Hating Dad. A separation that serves only to reinvigorate, strengthen and energize the bond between she and he. Loving dad. Selling houses, buying more houses. More holidays, lots of holidays. England, Canada, New Zealand and more. Spending the kid’s inheritance... and rightly so, a reward for a life of bloody hard work. Always working hard, even now.

So here we stand tonight, Saturday April 4th 2009, 60 years after birth, 38 years after the rebirth that starting from scratch in a new country is, Jane is surrounded by the family she created, the friends she has made, no friendships stronger, or more enduring than those she has with Gill who is here from England to be with her best friend on this occasion, and of course Dad...

Jane hasn’t cured cancer, or solved world hunger, nor will I, nor will my brothers, but Mum has succeeded in life and testament to that is our presence here tonight, celebrating the life and times of, despite her flaws, an amazing, loving woman. I can only hope that when I’m 60 I will know that my kids love me the way we love you Mum. Thank you all for coming tonight... and from Mum, thank you for being a part of her life, accepting her for who she is and who she isn’t. I know mum is so grateful for everything she has in life, most importantly, the people. And as she often says to me “If I died tomorrow, I’d be pretty happy with my life”.

So, please raise you glasses and toast a mother, a wife, mother-in-law, nana and friend... Jane Davies."

Happy Birthday Mum. Love you.

Thank you. Yes, you!

2009-04-02T04:13:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all of you... Byclops, Chez, Peachy, Skye, Bec... Also to Gypsy, Mel, Deb, Sandra, Antonella, Jess, Renee... not to mention Jane, Al, Tamara, Wendy, Kariyn, Angie, Ros, Marelle, Ali, Beth, Elena, Terri and Princess Lu.
At some stage you have all made the effort to comment on some of the crap I have dished up here. I want you to know that I appreciate you listening to me. It's so cathartic to know people care enough to listen... and then comment. Thank you all so much.
XO

Launderette.

2009-03-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

I went to the launderette the other night for the first time in my adult life.
It is on the corner of a suburban street and it glowed like a beacon in the night. A few doors down the pizza shop lights danced a tuneless dance.
It was a strange experience for no reason in particular. I felt like I was in an Australian movie. I half expected Ben Mendhelson or Toni Collette to walk in and throw dirty sheets into the machine.
I actually loved it. Maybe only someone who literally never goes there could say that, but there you go.

It is just the beginning.

2009-03-11T22:32:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time...

Life is no fairytale. No shit, I hear you all say. But that doesn't mean it can't be amazing. What fairytale didn't have a plot that included things going to poo for the main character?
Well. Things went to poo for me, and now they are getting better.

The kids are great, better than great, perfect. Perfect in their inperfection. I'm great too at the moment, kinda sorta maybe comfortable with my own 'singleness'... but if the right girl came along I'm sure I'd be ready to embrace 'coupleness'.

I'm moving in with a friend shortly, I have been on my own for a few months which has been great, especially when I have Anzac and Lola. But when I don't have them I'm a little lonely. I'll also save a bit of money.

I'm actually in love with a couple of friendships at the moment. The great thing we can all take out of times of hardship is that the cream rises, the people who really care, and really matter, show themselves in ways you never imagined. It is really uplifting (to use Chez's word).

This post is kinda all over the place... sorry.

So yeah, I've decided that this is just the beginning of a new chapter. The last one ended sadly, but I won't let that define me in the future. My future will be defined by the attitude I choose, and how I apply the lessons I have learnt from the mistakes I have made.

That's where I'm at.

It is probably over.

2009-02-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

I don't really know how to tell you this without coming across pathetic... (Which I really don't want to do, because I'm okay with this). I don't think Trinity and I will get back together. I know we won't get back together anytime soon. At the moment, and for a few days now, I have been okay with that. I can't beg for her to have me back if she doesn't want me, I can't force it. That wouldn't be a good grounds on which to try and rebuild our marriage.
So, for now, we go our separate ways... so to speak. We have our two amzaing, caring, beautiful children together, so our 8 years together was worth it. Trin has 'found herself' in the past 5 months and the transformation has been amazing. I'm sad that it took me leaving for her to have to do that, but there's no point speculating on whys and what ifs.
I have plenty left to offer my kids, Trin, my family, friends, you, and maybe even... a special someone.

How do I approach this day?

2009-02-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

Saturday 15th February, 2003

Today is my 6th Wedding anniversary.

Trinity hasn't mentioned it at all in recent times, I wonder if she'd be happy to see it come and go without a mention. I'm not sure I can do that though. I mean, my wedding day remains one of the best days of my life regardless of where we are at today. It has to be acknowledged... surely?!

Time will tell, it always does.

I'll let you know how it unfolds.

Anzac just ran into my room and jumped into bed with me. He is lying here hugging my arm as I write this. That's a pretty good start to any day I reckon.

Australia Day Weekend (My favourite weekend of the year).

2009-01-26T13:13:00.000-08:00

First things first... people shouldn't wear the Australian flag like some perverse sort of super-villian cape, it's disrespectful.

As always, Australia Day Weekend was awesome. AWESOME!

Brief synopsis - Friday night was beers with Aaron while watching the cricket.

Saturday we picked up Bern and Azz's new jetski. The weather wasn't great so we decided an afternoon 'session' was in order. The three of us had a few at home before heading to the Barwon Club. Settled in for a while there before heading into town to Beav's. Got shot down when I went to have a chat to a girl there. Her friend then came over and was a real bitch (excuse my language) which I was a bit confused about, because after the original girl said she wasn't interested I just left it alone. Still trying to work out why the friend can over and gave me an earfull...

On Sunday we did go out on the jetski, launching at Clifton Springs. It was a beautiful day and the jetski is unbelievably good fun. Had a go on the 'donut' but it was getting a bit choppy so it was equal parts fun and danger. I got flipped off and ate s**t. My private part were sore for a few hours. Took the kids down the waterfront and had fish and chips in the park with Ruth, Raph and Isaiah (after growing up without and relatives, it's so nice that my kids have cousins to hang out with). Watched Slumdog Millionaire on Sunday night. Great movie. GREAT!

The first launch!

Stowaways.

Took the kids down Clifton Springs again on Monday and had a ball. They were just so happy to chill out on the beach, splashing around in the water and eating a bit of sand. I had a go on the wakeboard and was really happy that it felt a bit easier than last time. With a few 40 plus degree days forecast, I'm hoping Bern and Az go out on the water after work this week.

Bring it on!

Proud Dad, proud Aussie.

Now more than ever.

2009-01-18T13:35:00.000-08:00

Hey, how you doing? I thought I'd share a couple of things that I've written in the past. No real reason, it just gives me something to post. This first one is an essay... no, probably not an essay as such... actually, I'm not sure what it is. It is just something I wrote for fun a while ago, about 8 years ago I think, after Trin and I got back from our honeymoon in Bali. I'm not sure why I wrote it, but I did. And here it is.

Now More Than Ever.

“Come back to Bali,” our host, Wayan, told the handycam I had shamelessly shoved tourist-style in his face. And he meant it. My wife and I were about halfway through our ten-day Bali honeymoon and thoroughly enjoying an evening dining on the sands of Jimbaron Bay. The sun dropped over the horizon after about forty minutes of technicolour changes, shades of pinks, reds, oranges and blues fading to black in the distance. In the foreground, empty chairs and tables were silhouetted against the amazing scene. Wayan sat with us throughout, we were his only customers tonight, maybe all week. He watched us watch our first Balineses sunset, but he didn’t seem bored by it, or us.

Earlier, when we arrived, driven by our hotel’s barman who was moonlighting for a little extra cash, we were taken through the resteraunt and onto the beach. Either side of the tiny eatery were another fifty or so tiny eateries stretching off about 500 metres in each direction. All had rows and rows of empty tables and cheap plastic seats packing the strip of sand. A few months ago, before the atrocities inflicted on nearby Kuta, the beach would have been packed with people like us, honeymooners enjoying a romantic dinner, tourists from the world over and yes, young people having a meal and drinks before hitting the popuar nightspots of Bali.

“If I had a gun,” Wayna said, “and those men were here now, I would say “you killed Bali” and I would kill them.” “Those men” being the likes of Iman Samudra and the so-called “Smiling Assassin”, Amrozi. Like so many Balinese, Wayan had a perpetual smile and a face that belied his thirty years, but at this point he didn’t look like a happy, carefree young man. Perhaps this was the private face of Bali that we, the tourists, we shielded from by the sunny persona we had come to expect from our hosts. It’s not rocket science, you only had to look up and down the beach to see that these were desperately tough times for the locals. It was the same everywhere on the island. Empty tables on the beach. Empty stools at the bars. Empty rooms in the hotels. Empty seats on the planes. An economy that was built and survives solely on the tourist trade will surely die without it, the only question is can Bali last until we let go of our collective fear and return to our once most popular holiday destination? Time will tell.

In stall across the island t-shirts were being sold with slogans such as “Bali loves peace”, “Fuck terrorist” , “Bali black Oct. 12” and my favourite, “Bali, Now More Than Ever!”. Are these t-shirts what the real Balinese think? The cynic might say it is just another way of grabbing the now rare tourist dollar, playing on our emotions. The cynic may well be right- so what? I bought a couple of these t-shirts, I gave a few of my tourist dollars to a Balinese vendor who otherwise wouldn’t have got them, I wouldn’t have bought a t-shirt that simply had the word ‘Bali’ on it with an eighties-style picture of a palm tree on it. I wouldn’t come home and wear that in public. Who want to walk around their home town looking like a tourist? Instead I wear my “Bali loves peace” t-shirt, and hopefully people see it and think that maybe there isn’t anything to be scared of, that maybe Bali really does love peace.

This brings me to a question that really puzzles me – what is it really that people are scared of? Are people really so naïve that they think Bali will be the subject of more attacks from Islamic extremists? Irrationally, people now seem to think that Bali is a haven for those Islamic extremists. Not true. Bali is predominantly made up of peace loving Hindus. Muslims are something of a minority and they too are peace loving. It only takes one in every million to tarnish the reputation of the silent majority, but unfortunately, that is exactly what seems to have happened. And that is why we (you?) are scared. Please don’t be.

My wife and I had the pleasure of sitting down and talking to extraordinary ordinary Balinese on five or six occasions. You start chatting, you offer to buy them a drink that they seem embarassed to accept, but eventually do, and you talk. You talk about anything, everything. And if you talk long enough you see the real Bali and the real Balinese. Go there. Try it.

As Wayan said on the empty beach of Jimabaron Bay, “Come back to Bali”.