Sunday, January 30, 2011

Monday, January 24, 2011

Monday, January 17, 2011

Looking Up.

I'm feeling pretty good about life at the minute.

Last week was my last night in 44 Kilgour. I had a few friends around and we drank beers and talked shit. I had a matress, a stereo, and an Esky. It was a great night. The morning wasn't so great though. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, leaving that place. I've given it everything I had for seven years; blood, sweat, tears, time, money, emotions. I was bawling my eyes out as I took the keys of my keyring and left them on the kitchen bench. Closing the front door behind me, knowing from that moment on I had no right to ever go back in to what had been mine for so long, was so hard. It was a rough day. I did get a wonderful text through the day from someone who knew I was struggling. It read;

'It won't be much consolation today but just think, you helped to create a place that is going to house joy and love and all of those crazy human things for someone and their family, who may have been longing for it just as much as you! And you did it with your own two hands! That's pretty special. I'm fairly sure 'the universe' repays something like that with your own joy and love and all of those human emotions, and somewhere special to house that too. It works in cycles :) Thinking of you! X'

That improved a horrible day. Thank you.

Aside from that bump in the road, things really are great. I'm pretty calm about my place in the world, which is a bit rare for me, particularly my place in the world as a single man; it doesn't usually sit well with me. Now that the house has settled and the money has cleared, I can look forward to buying a place to call my own. REALLY looking forward to having my own space; it's been too long.

The kids are fantastic, Lola moved into Anzac's room at daycare and has settled in beautifully, but, I knew she would.

So, happy days being me at the moment. 2011 is looking up.

With love,

Saturday, January 1, 2011

"Bless this mess, we tried our best, that's all we can do." 2010 in review.

Looking back on 2010 it's easy for me to write it off as a pretty disappointing year. But this is due to one little thing that for me is so big... love. If I try to objectively look at the year I can find a lot to like about it.

2010 100% guaranteed that Trin and I are over. It was probably more a case that we really accepted that we were done. No one gets married expecting anything less than forever and we were no different. This year made clear that there's nothing left; in fact, I have largely forgotten who the Trinity that I was so in love with is.

I was offered a redundancy from Kaisercraft this year and I accepted it. I had the time of my life there, but since early 2009 it stopped being a place I felt I really wanted to be. I felt stagnant, I felt that the company had lost its vision for the way it wanted to 'value' staff, and as such, it was an opportune time to leave. I'm grateful for my nearly seven years there.

I dated someone for a few months this year. The spark I expect to feel didn't come. It was really hard ending it because she was a lovely girl; sweet, kind, had a career I respect, and she really liked me. Hurting people is no fun, but I needed to look after me and dragging it on would have only hurt her more.

After leaving Kaisercraft I spent a few months working on my house, preparing it for sale. The tranformation was amazing (see )and on auction day we were rewarded for our hard work. I've been living in the house since Trin moved out a few weeks back. Settlement is on the 12th of January... It's going to be deeply emotional leaving the grand old lady for the final time.

After leaving Kaisers I was reflecting on my time there and also looking forward, deciding what I wanted to do, what is important to me, where my skills and personality could be put to best use and I made a move into a field a bit left of centre for a guy - childcare. After the initial 10 applications sent had a poor response I tweaked my resume and cover letter and had a vastly improved result. I ended up interviewing at three place on one day and was offered two jobs. A fourth employer then tried to poach me after I'd accepted another job; and this was without even interviewing! As it turns out, I've lucked across a wonderful centre with a great boss. I work 40 hours over four days so I get a long weekend every single week! I think I might have found something I'm really good at. Best of all... it really matters.

2010 will go down as a defining year. Big changes, mostly good. New Year's Resolutions? None yet, and probably none to come. What's the point? If you want to change or do something why not just do it?

Happy New Year all, especially Tim, Loz and Scarlett, Az and Bern, Kylie, Chez, Mum and Dad, my old and dear friend Bex, Skye - may 2011 require little medical intervention! you deserve a break, Trin (let's hope we are still friends at the end of this one), Richelle, and others of who there are too many to mention.

Thank you Anzac and Lola for making the world in 2010 a place I wanted to live. I love you both with everything I am, with everything I have.

Stay safe all y'all!

With love,